Making cookies for Daddy....

Adeline decided that she wanted to make cookies for Daddy. So...before Daddy came home from work tonight we started baking. Adeline was a great help. I was very impressed at how patient she was. She didn't try to climb down or play with other toys. She was focused on making the cookies. (and eating the butterscotch chips) Here are two videos of before mixing and after mixing. We had a great time. And Daddy was very surprised.

21 weeks...

Hard to believe that it has been three weeks since my surgery. Everything happened so fast and now it is finally starting to slow down. I had a follow up appointment with the Oncologist last week to make sure that I was healing well. He said that everything looked good and that I don't need to come back again. I think that is funny to say that everything looked good when my belly has five incisions on it. I know what he meant. He also told me how challenging the surgery was for them. With the placement and size of the ovary they had to try/use almost every angle and tool. That is why he said that it took twice the time. Although I was happy to have met this man I am very happy to hopefully never see him again.

The glue is off and the vitamin E is on. The three laproscopic ones are very small and will heal and probably not be visible. But the pretty 3" one under my belly button and 1" one below my breast line probably won't go away. It is very tight when I bend over and randomly I feel sharp stinging like it is opening back up. Unfortunately for the healing since I am pregnant they will probably look more ugly than pretty. Wait a minute.....do any incisions look pretty???

Daily....hourly, when I look at them I try not to focus on the wound. I try to focus on the fact that the God of all things chose to save me and my baby. I don't know why God has been so good to me. He has protected me from so many things when I definitely don't deserve it. Why Lord? Why me? I don't deserve this life I live. A loving husband, a beautiful daughter(another miracle), an amazing family, good friends, a house over my head, food in the fridge, two vehicles that run....the list could go on and on. Why does God continue to be faithful when I am not? Why do I get caught up in the daily routines of life and forget to spend quality time with Him?

I think that things are finally starting to hit me. The idea that I could have had cancer and possibly lost my life and Andrew's. That thought sends shocks through my body. Don't get me wrong, I want to go to heaven and spend eternity with my Savior but.... I want to spend many years with my husband, growing old with him, watching our children grow up and have children of their own.

I hope this feeling doesn't fade.

"Look at me!"

Said with a fast, high pitched voice. Adeline was determined to vacuum the upstairs hallway by herself. If I tried to help she got really angry. She must think that she can do a better job...she's probably right:-)

I also realize that Adeline seems to always be in her Mermaid pj's. I promise she does wear other clothes. This is just a favorite.

Three recent phrases:

For the last couple of weeks Adeline has been nothing but a chatter box. Sometimes you can tell what she is saying and other times you can not. Sometimes she is singing her favorite songs and other times she is just making noise. Whatever it is. I love it. Nana started calling her Quackie like her Great Aunt Jackie who ever since she was little has never stopped talking.

Three recent phrases are:

1. When I was climbing a stool to reach something up high I hear...."Be careful Mommy"

2. When Daddy makes her laugh she comes up to me and says..."Daddy is a funny guy"

3. When Adeline decided to start controlling when Mommy and Daddy get kisses or hugs I devised a plan to trick her and get the lovin' I want. I say "come here baby" and she comes right up to me like a little baby and climbs in my lap, just like a baby and snuggles me. Then I ask for a kiss from the baby. And I always get it:-) So now at random times I hear a little voice saying..."come here baby" wanting me to say it so that she can be my baby.

I love it.

A night with the Rudds

Last night we had a very enjoyable evening with the Rudd bunch. Katie was gracious enough to cook a meal for all 9 of us and brought it over to our house to eat. We spent all night outdoors talking and playing with the kids. Adeline's Dora quad was a big hit. We had a special talk with Adeline before everyone came over about sharing her toys and playing nice. She did a great job, not getting upset even once.

We went for a walk and played at the Lincoln Park Elementary playground. Adeline felt a special connection to Willow and held her hand the entire way to the park. (thanks for being so patient Willow)

The slide was a lot of fun for all the kids. Adeline wanted Daddy to go down with her the first time. What Daddy didn't realize was that for some reason the slide gets narrower towards the bottom and He ended up getting stuck. It didn't seem to bother Adeline.

Katie took control of the Elephant so that all the kids could ride with her.

On our walk home Ginger dropped acorns along the path so that we could find our way back. We will definitely be looking for those acorns on our next trip.

Jr. Mechanic

Adeline was very excited to work on the car with Daddy. Together they changed the oil and rotated the tires. Adeline was very determined to put the lugnuts on the tires. (I sure hope Daddy doubled checked Addy's work)

During this time Mommy was inside taking a shower and shaving her legs that haven't been touched in over two weeks. A big priority. So when I stepped outside into the garage and saw Little Miss all dirty (also just had a bath) I decided to run and get the camera. She was very proud of her "mess".

She was also very adamant that I take pictures of both Barbie and Nek who also helped with the car. (I decided not to post the individual shots) Before we went back into the house we made sure to clean our arms, hands, and face. And we also made sure that both Barbie and Nek received baths.

Getting back to normal...

I can't say thank you enough...

I would just like to say thank you to all of the family and friends that have taken time to call, write, and visit us during this hard time. A special thank you to our church community for bringing us dinners every night this last week and to the Menefee family for dinner last night. A very special thank you to Grandma Bean for dropping everything she was doing to come and take care of Adeline and for watching her for us until Tuesday of last week. Another special thank you to Nana for driving up and watching Adeline through Friday and one more thank you to both Missy and Corrie for helping the last two days before James' vacation started.

Like I mentioned before, recovery was not something I thought about nor was the idea that I would not be able to take care of my own daughter. With all of their kind help I have been able to recover better and Adeline has remained happy. Sometimes the words thank you just don't seem like enough.

The castle was a very popular attraction with both Grandma's
After each kid enjoyed half of a sugar cookie they proceeded to run back and forth from the kitchen to the living room screaming and laughing for about 20 minutes. They were very entertaining.

20 week old Andrew

As a family James, Adeline and I went to see Andrew once again. This was my actual scheduled appointment. Adeline was very excited that we were going to "go..see..Baby Andrew". She asked me very sweetly "Mommy, push..Baby Andrew...out?" I told her that I would when the time was right but that would be in a little bit "little..bit" Adeline quoted me. She is very ready and prepared to "hold..tiss.(kiss)..and rock...Baby Andrew"

In the picture above you will see the side of Andrew's face in the top left and his arm up against me in the center. He chose not to be very photogenic during this ultra-sound so the 3-D shots didn't turn out very well. Or at least not well enough for me to post. Some might not know what they are looking at. Personally I think that I should take a career as a ultra-sound technician, I have gotten very good at reading the screen.

Popcorn with Daddy

So for the last three nights Adeline has decided to "wait for Daddy" (in her own words). I think that she is tired of other people putting her to bed and since Mommy can't she would rather wait for Daddy. She did really good for awhile but now that time is over. This is James' last night of work before his 9 day stretch of vacation.



"No more work...Daddy home" Spoken by a very happy 2 year old.



I know that there are two video's but they are both worth watching. So... enjoy a look into our late night life.

Memoirs of Emergency Surgery

After our appointment at Spectrum we were at the check out when the Doctor ran up to me. He asked me if anyone had ever talked to me about my cyst on my left ovary. I told him that I became aware that I had it when we started the InVitro process with Adeline but it didn't grow and it hadn't grown since having her. He told me that what he saw had grown over 2cm in 5 weeks since my last ultra-sound. We then went back to talk privately. He told me that what he sees is more complex than a cyst (even an Endometreoma) and that it was more a mass with septations (much more complex). He wanted to refer me to a Oncologist and quickly because if surgery was needed it would need to be done fast for the baby's sake.

Cancer? What? I have never had any pain and my cycles have always been to the day this couldn't be right. Once I get a second opinion it will show the measurements were wrong and that everything would be fine. I told him to refer me and left the office excited about our baby boy.

At 12:30 the next day I get a call from the Doctor I saw yesterday who talked to the Oncologist. He told me that he was very concerned and wanted to see me that day at 2:00. I had a hour and a half to take a shower, drop Adeline off somewhere, and make it to Grand Rapids.

I made it to my appointment by 2:15 where I sat for about 30 minutes. While I was there I watched many women walk in and out coming for their chemotherapy treatments. This is not an office I want to be sitting in. Once I was called in I was given a complete physical exam and then had a consult with the Doctor. He was concerned that I was by myself and wanted to make sure what information they gave me I understood.

He proceeded to tell me that what he saw if seen on a 50 year old woman would be considered cancer until tested otherwise. Since I am 28 my risk wasn't as high but because of all the septations in the mass it did not look good. If I chose to have the surgery it would need to be done soon like the next day at 1:30. Week 18-20 is the best time to operate with the least risk to baby. If I chose not to have the surgery I would run the chance of having an ovarian torsion which could cause miscarriage around weeks 24-25 and also if it was cancer it would be that much longer until treated. I didn't find the decision very hard to make. But a lot had to happen and it needed to happen fast.

I left the Doctors office at 4 and needed to return to the hospital by 7 to be admitted. I needed to call and get James out of work, pick Adeline up (thank you Misty), find someone to watch her over night (or for longer), pack a bag and head back to Grand Rapids. Did I mention that I was just told that I might have cancer? James got out of work as soon as I called him and picked up Adeline. I called Mom Bean and asked her if she could watch Adeline. She was in Lansing about to go pick up her new car. She asked when I needed her and I said in about an hour and a half. With no hesitation she said she would be on her way.

Okay...that was done. I came home cleaned the house up, gave Adeline a bath, packed both she and I and sat down on the couch. I decided that I would not let my mind race to places it shouldn't and that my primary concern was for Andrew and his safety. He didn't need me going crazy. I would remain calm for him.

Grandma arrived, we gave our kisses and then we were off.

I checked in a little after 7 and had an MRI scheduled for 9:30. The MRI would be a more detailed second opinion and would show that if there was cancer if any of it had spread to my abdominal cavity or lymph nodes. The MRI took about 45 minutes and after waiting an hour we were told we wouldn't know the outcome until the next day. So now my focus was to empty my bowel and have a clean system for surgery.

The next morning we waited and waited and waited to hear what was going to happen. No one seemed to have the answers and the Doctors were in an emergency surgery. Finally at around 11:30 a Doctor came in and talked to us about the MRI. Everything besides the ovary looked good. They did decide that they would take the ovary and fallopian tube because of the complexity of the mass. The Doctor told me that he does not see this being cancer and that if it was it should be at a low stage.

At 12:30 our doctor came in to talk to us before I was taken away for preparation. He was very happy that whatever it was hadn't spread but still felt the urgency to remove it now and have it tested. His words were that you can only know so much with an external view and we need to go internal. He also told us that the mass was the size of an orange. He let us know that as I was out on the surgical table once they removed the ovary they would immediately test it and within 20 minutes they would have a 97% correct answer. James and I agreed that if it was cancer and they needed to operate more and remove more (lymph nodes, ect.) that they could and that we wanted them to do it then. Another surgery at a later date would not be safe for Andrew.

My handsome brother John came just in time to give me lots of kisses and stayed through my entire surgery as support for James. John said that he has never seen James nervous before and James said that it was nice to have someone there with him.

3 hours later the surgery was done. The mass tested positive for endometriosis and there was no Cancer. THERE WAS NO CANCER!

At about 6 I was waking up. I remember crying and being in a lot of pain. I wanted to see James and I wanted to hear the baby's heart beat. I felt my stomach and noticed an incision in the center of my chest I at that point thought that they found cancer and had to make and incision all they way up my stomach. The resident rushed over to me and let me know that things couldn't have gone any better and that there was no cancer. They also called someone down from labor and delivery with a Doppler so that I could hear Andrew. Once I was pumped with some good pain killers I was able to relax more.

During this whole time which happened so fast I got a lot of information on the surgery and our need for it. But I never asked about the recovery time. I don't know what I was thinking. What I do know is that I wasn't thinking that it would take a while to walk and go to the bathroom on my own and that I would be totally dependent on others.

Today is Saturday, I am still in the hospital hoping to be discharged tomorrow. The staff has been great, Adeline has been happy with her grand parents, and I am married to the most incredible man ever.

James has taken care of my every need. Helped me get out of bed, helped me eat, helped me in the rest room (even the dirty parts), helped me with my shower and has been by my side non stop. What an amazing man. I am so blessed. Even with 5 incisions on my stomach he still manages to make me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world.

This next week I have family taking turns coming up to stay with us to help with Adeline and the week after that James is on vacation. I think we can do this. It's going to be a hard next couple of weeks but we have a great support system of family and friends.

AND....did I mention that I don't have cancer and that we are having a BOY!!!!!

p.s thanks to all of you who have sent emails, left voice mails, and even visited. Your prayers, kind words, and nice smelling gifts have really been appreciated.

Andrew Thomas-Frederick Bean

Do you see that??? That's right it is a penis!!!! We are having a boy and we couldn't be any happier. He wasn't shy at all :-)

The few days leading up to the ultra-sound weren't the easiest. We chose to do the quad test (which I had done with Adeline) and this time it came back with an abnormal reading. We were then sent to Spectrum Maternal Fetal Medicine for a more detailed ultra-sound and an amniocentesis option. We had a 4% chance that the baby had down syndrome.

You would never hear me say that I wanted a boy vs. girl, just that I wanted a healthy baby and that I was happy to be pregnant. But....part of me had this desire to have a boy and if we did there would be no need for InVitro again. When I saw the penis I just sobbed. I couldn't believe it. I really thought it was a girl. God was telling me that everything was going to be okay and that by the way I gave you a boy too.

Everything on the ultra-sound came back good. Andrew has no extra skin on his neck and has a nose bone which are true indicators of Downs. He does have a shortened Femur but nothing drastic and not enough to say he has Downs. In the Doctor's professional opinion there was no need for an amniocentesis and instead of a 4% chance we now have a 5% chance. There is a risk of miscarriage with the amniocentesis and that is something we are not willing to take at this time. If we want a 100% answer we could have the test done when I am 30 weeks running the risk of pre-term delivery. We are believing that Andrew is healthy and are trusting God with the rest.

Isn't he beautiful. I can't wait to see a little James running around. I am sure he will be naughty but Adeline will keep him in place.

Labor Day Fun....

As a Labor Day tradition we always get together with the Kingsbury clan. This year was definitely a great time with Adeline once again the center of attention. All of her cousins we very playful getting her to laugh and scream constantly. She really enjoyed her time and we really enjoyed watching her interact.

A traditional game is "BEANO" (like Bingo) were we all play and win fun prizes. Adeline won Play-Doh which we have been playing with ever since. The big blue ball was a huge hit.

Aunt Erin got Adeline a matching shirt from her trip to NY. Here are the two posing for the camera.

A very tuckered out Adeline after a long weekend. Notice the naked Ken (Nek) and Barbie. For some reason they aren't allowed to wear any clothes. At least Barbie has panties painted on. In my motherly opinion I also think Barbie should be wearing a bra and Ken should have on boxers.